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Advice from Lorenzo:
FIGHT BACK WITH PRAYER
(In response to my post of 1/28/00.)
Robert:
I don't have the answers, man. I joined this network in September and
I don't
know all the fancy words that some of these guys use. At times I think
that
some of them try to show off with their knowledge, but that's O.K..
They are
good people who try to help and I do admit that I have learned.
If you sound desperate it is because you are desperate. I honor your
honesty.
Not many of us are men enough to spill their guts to strangers asking
for
help. You did it and I applaud you for it.
I am not an analyst, Robert. This is not a rah rah letter to cheer you
up. I
am no Vince Lombardi, hence this is not a locker room speech.
You are going through the stages we all been through. The fear, the
desperation, the need to yell: "HEY, IS THERE ANYBODY THERE
LISTENING?"
But
you know something, my friend? Please don't feel sorry for yourself.
The
moment you do, this bitch will consume you. It is like a predator looking
for
your weakness.
Those who abandon hope are the first ones to go. Attitude is important
in
this fight. Remember the [Rocky] Balboa analogy. You went down, now get up
again.
Remember what Rocky told his trainer in the movie. He was not concerned
in
winning. HE WANTED TO GO THE DISTANCE. That was his motivation and he
did.
Use something to motivate you everyday to beat this SOB. Mine is
that I
have two little granddaughters. One is going to be four in March and the
other is
17 months. We love each other to death. My goal is to see them become
teenagers and this damn cancer is not going to stop me. You have to
fight
back my friend.
I am not a member of the Religious Right. As a matter of fact, I can't
stand
them because of their patronizing attitude, so please don't get upset
at what
I am going to tell you.
I been through a lot in life. I fought in the Bay of Pigs. I thought
that I
was going to die there. I prayed and God got me through it. Later in
prison,
they did awful things to us, physically and mentally. I asked God to
help us
and He did. He got us out. When I arrived in this country, I did it
with
only $20.00 with me and summer clothes. Try to survive in the winter
in N.Y.C
with $20.00, summer clothes, broken English, and not knowing anybody.
My
headaches from the hunger were so bad that I thought I was going to
pass out.
I asked God for help, He did. One time I was extremely hungry and
guess what
happened.
There was this car with a door partially opened and on the pavement
next to
it, a submarine sandwich on the floor. I devoured it in less than 20
seconds.
Another time, I was walking down the streets of NYC, it was cold and I
was
shaking. I stopped to look around to get a sense of direction and I
was
standing in front of the building which housed the company that my dad
used to
work for in Cuba. I went upstairs, introduced myself and they hired
me. I
was lost, but by coincidence? I was standing in front of right
building. I
don't think it was coincidence. I think it was God trying to help me.
We
call it in the Catholic Church "Divine Providence."
Remember what I told you. Go to a place by yourself or seat on the
edge of
the bed and say: "God, I can't stand this anymore. I am asking you to
take
over. I put everything in your hands." Say it honestly, and
immediately you
start feeling an immense peace.
This is one hell of a battle we in Phase D are fighting. When my
brother told
me that the medication was working because my PSA went from 117 to 0.6,
I
said. "No, is God working through the medications. Who created the men
that
invented the medication. Who created the doctor?" You have to have faith
in
God, because if not, you might as well start digging your grave now.
We are fighting a dragon here. This is David v. Goliath, part II.
The
difference is that we don't carry stones. We carry our prayers. I
tell my
friends: "Pray for me, because I can't win this by myself." And if at
the
end we go down, we go down swinging.
One time at church, one of the readings was a letter of St. Paul. I
remember
a part of it. "On earth, we work for Christ. In death we see Him." I
don't
know about you Robert, but to me that is a win/win situation.
Please excuse me if I offended you with the religious part of it. It
was not
my intention. As I told you. I can't stand the religious right. We
need to
survive this so in the future we can help more Roberts. Remember, you
told me
one time that in the future you want to help the newbies. Well, you
can't
help them in your present condition. There is nothing wrong in feeling
like
you are. We been through that and you would be a freak if you did not
go
through it. My friend, now is the time to clean your rifle.
Take care guy. Always keep your chin up. You call me if you need
somebody to
unload to.
Lorenzo
[name used with permission]
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| This information is provided for educational purposes only and does not replace or amend professional medical advice. Unless otherwise stated and credited, the content of Phoenix5 (P5) is by and the opinion of and copyright © 2000 Robert Vaughn Young. All Rights Reserved. P5 is at <http://www.phoenix5.org>. P5's policy regarding privacy and right to reprint are at <www.phoenix5.org/infopolicy>.
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