phoenix 5 - to help men and their companions overcome issues created by prostate cancer
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A Phoenix5 First-Person Story


The guilt and frustration of women
Who are we to vent?

by "Edith"

  [Webmaster note: Sent to me as private email. Reproduced with permission. Name has been changed.]

I think that the outpouring of emotion from the women in the last week or so [onto a mailing list] has shown just how excluded they have been from the [PCa] process. Yes, we have the Circle [mailing list]. But the Circle tends to be touchy-feely. wife arguing with husband Hugs are given and returned and there is some substance and lots of practical advice about what to do after an RP [radical prostastectomy]. (buy sweat pants ...etc). But the real needs of the women have not been met. PCAI [mailing list] has been the closest.

Honesty from the women means that in many instances we are forced to criticize our men and considering that they are the people with the disease while we are "just" the wives/companions, etc means that we feel guilty expressing our unmet needs, our frustrations, our anger. We are not the ones who are going to die. Therefore who are we to vent? Well you get the idea. If you can start a list which will deal with our needs as well as yours, you will have accomplished a miracle.

If the phoenix rises from the ashes and is reborn to make a better place, [the name of your site] is well chosen.

I wish you luck.

(written March 2000)

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This information is provided for educational purposes only and does not replace or amend professional medical advice. Unless otherwise stated and credited, the content of Phoenix5 (P5) is by and the opinion of and copyright © 2000 Robert Vaughn Young. All Rights Reserved. P5 is at <>. P5's policy regarding privacy and right to reprint are at <>.