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This is one of several essays from my private cancer journal. It is not intended as anything than a record of my states of mind as I struggled with the disease and the effects of the treatment.

Here we go again
roller coaster with loops and twists

I just came back from my oncologist and the results of my latest PSA.

It is 92.6, up from 30.7 six weeks ago, which was up from 3.6 in mid-January.

I didn't know what to expect, since we stopped the Casodex six weeks ago. But I was hoping for better news.

Tripling in six weeks is a pretty stiff doubling time.

So we talked, while my stomach rolled.

No, I said, no symptoms. I'm still pain-free and I do know what pain is.

Well, then, he said, we have two options: restart the Zoladex with triple-dose Casodex or chemo.

I could hear myself breathing. Amazing how quiet the oncology floor was then as I mulled it. Finally, I said, "Or, since it's only been six weeks, we could wait to see what it does."

My thinking was that since I had responded so well to the drugs before, we might as well make sure they are out of my system before trying them again. Then, if it is still rising, we go with the Zoladex and Casodex and leave the chemo for later.

Okay, he said, let's do it.

That's what I like about him. We work well together.

So that's the plan. I'll get another PSA in May and then again in June and then we'll decide.

We looked at his computer screen where my PSA soared up from the bottom. At this rate, we agreed, if it doesn't drop with the lack of Casodex, it could be in the 300-400 range. Then we hit it with the Z & C and see what it does.

Here we go again.

I'm getting sick of this ride.


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This information is provided for educational purposes only and does not replace or amend professional medical advice. Unless otherwise stated and credited, the content of Phoenix5 (P5) is by and the opinion of and copyright © 2000 Robert Vaughn Young. All Rights Reserved. P5 is at <>. P5's policy regarding privacy and right to reprint are at <>.