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SO MUCH IS LEARNED FROM PAINFUL SITUATIONS
[This is a response to my post of 1/13/03. Sharlene sent this to me as a private email on 1/13/03. It is reproduced here with her kind permission. -- Robert Young, Webmaster]
How wise of you to think of this and bring it up.
This is one of the issues that no one really prepares
us for.
I have thought more about coping with the death of a
loved one, and am remembering things I have done. One
is to put out pictures so that I can still see
the person. Another is remembering that working
through grief is a process and to do that by
acknowledging my feelings, allowing myself to feel
them, and then reminding myself to move on without
getting stuck in one particular phase. Prayers full
of gratitude as well as pleas for comfort have been
essential in healing. Still, there are those middle
of the night feelings of despair, loneliness, and
emptiness that maybe someone has some suggestions for
coping with.
As you suggested, family and/or close friends
will hopefully be helping, and religious beliefs can
offer comfort. There are the external sources we hope
to be able to turn to in a time of crisis. That is
why we all need a social structure of support.
There
are also the internal sources which many of us have
not done much to develop. Those are our own coping
skills. There are very few places that teach us
coping skills.
Those are the ones we all need because
regardless of family and friends there will be those
times when we are alone in our crisis and we need to
rely on our own coping skills.
We need some
suggestions from some professional psychologists and
social workers. I've spent time learning and
practicing skills pertaining to coping with other
issues in my life, but I haven't asked for any
professional counsel on coping when there's no one
around to help, like in the middle of the night.
So many lessons we learn come with painful situations.
Sincerely,
Sharlene
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| This information is provided for educational purposes only and does not replace or amend professional medical advice. Unless otherwise stated and credited, the content of Phoenix5 (P5) is by and the opinion of and copyright © 2000 Robert Vaughn Young. All Rights Reserved. P5 is at <http://www.phoenix5.org>. P5's policy regarding privacy and right to reprint are at <www.phoenix5.org/infopolicy>.
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