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Advice from Sheryl Wetzel:
DISPELLING THE FEAR
(In response to my post of 1/28/00.)
Hi Robert:
Sheryl Wetzel here again. I think I replied to you
once before about
another one of your posts - still not one of the
guys but one of the guys'
wives.
Couple of thoughts - whenever I am angry I remind
myself that anger is fear
acted out
then I try to identify what it is that I am afraid
of. Example: after David
was diagnosed with PCa, I was angry at our family
physician for not telling
us 2 years ago that his PSA was 3.5 which was high
and that he should come
back and be retested in 6 months. Two years later, PSA
8.5 Gleason 7.
What I
finally figured out was that I was afraid that the
next time he either
overlooked something or chose not to tell us that it
might cost one of us
our lives (this one still could) so my solution
was to no longer take
anything he does or says as being the gospel truth.
Now at our annual exams
or whenever tests are run I ask for copies of the
results and I make sure
that I understand them.
Now in regard to things getting overwhelming with
information overload, I
find that also happens to me. So I have a 3-ring
notebook binder that I
have started and have put dividers in it,
identifying different categories
and one of the categories is "look at later." Then
when I have a little bit
of time, I go back and research one or two
items.
Remember you
did not get this disease yesterday and you do not
have to make one single
decision today. Only make decisions when you are
comfortable with them.
Sometimes with just a little more time and reading a
few more of the posts
things begin to get a little clearer without having
to do a whole lot of
research. I also found that once we got what we
considered enough
information to make an informed decision the load
got a little lighter.
I
read recently that it takes about 60-90 days to
begin to settle in after
diagnosis. You are just about there. David was
diagnosed on 11/18/99 and
we are just now getting comfortable with fighting
this monster. Would
rather not do it but we are adjusting.
Remember if you have faith it is easier to live your
life in trust and not
in fear. Gradually gaining information has helped
to dispel my fears a lot.
I joke that I could now pass a test for an Internet
degree on everything I
never wanted to know about prostate cancer. Just
relax today on whatever is
overwhelming you and deal with it in a couple of
days.
I think the last time I sent you a note I forgot to
tell you about a couple
of things that have helped David and myself. First
we joined a Tai Chi
class together and are getting a lot out of it. Tai
Chi uses the mind and
the body to help heal the body. The other thing is
I sent him to the
acupuncturist that I saw before [an operation] and
she is really helping
him.
Hopefully by now you have acquired yourself
the following - 1 primary
care physician - 1 urologist - 1 radiation
oncologist and most importantly 1
medical oncologist to be the head honcho overseeing
all of them and your
overall picture.
Good luck.
Sheryl
[name used with permission]
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| This information is provided for educational purposes only and does not replace or amend professional medical advice. Unless otherwise stated and credited, the content of Phoenix5 (P5) is by and the opinion of and copyright © 2000 Robert Vaughn Young. All Rights Reserved. P5 is at <http://www.phoenix5.org>. P5's policy regarding privacy and right to reprint are at <www.phoenix5.org/infopolicy>.
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