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Advice from Lorenzo:


(In response to my post of 1/28/00.)


I don't have the answers, man. I joined this network in September and I don't know all the fancy words that some of these guys use. At times I think that some of them try to show off with their knowledge, but that's O.K.. They are good people who try to help and I do admit that I have learned.

If you sound desperate it is because you are desperate. I honor your honesty. Not many of us are men enough to spill their guts to strangers asking for help. You did it and I applaud you for it.

I am not an analyst, Robert. This is not a rah rah letter to cheer you up. I am no Vince Lombardi, hence this is not a locker room speech.

You are going through the stages we all been through. The fear, the desperation, the need to yell: "HEY, IS THERE ANYBODY THERE LISTENING?"

But you know something, my friend? Please don't feel sorry for yourself. The moment you do, this bitch will consume you. It is like a predator looking for your weakness. Those who abandon hope are the first ones to go. Attitude is important in this fight. Remember the [Rocky] Balboa analogy. You went down, now get up again. Remember what Rocky told his trainer in the movie. He was not concerned in winning. HE WANTED TO GO THE DISTANCE. That was his motivation and he did.

Use something to motivate you everyday to beat this SOB. Mine is that I have two little granddaughters. One is going to be four in March and the other is 17 months. We love each other to death. My goal is to see them become teenagers and this damn cancer is not going to stop me. You have to fight back my friend.

I am not a member of the Religious Right. As a matter of fact, I can't stand them because of their patronizing attitude, so please don't get upset at what I am going to tell you.

I been through a lot in life. I fought in the Bay of Pigs. I thought that I was going to die there. I prayed and God got me through it. Later in prison, they did awful things to us, physically and mentally. I asked God to help us and He did. He got us out. When I arrived in this country, I did it with only $20.00 with me and summer clothes. Try to survive in the winter in N.Y.C with $20.00, summer clothes, broken English, and not knowing anybody. My headaches from the hunger were so bad that I thought I was going to pass out. I asked God for help, He did. One time I was extremely hungry and guess what happened. There was this car with a door partially opened and on the pavement next to it, a submarine sandwich on the floor. I devoured it in less than 20 seconds.

Another time, I was walking down the streets of NYC, it was cold and I was shaking. I stopped to look around to get a sense of direction and I was standing in front of the building which housed the company that my dad used to work for in Cuba. I went upstairs, introduced myself and they hired me. I was lost, but by coincidence? I was standing in front of right building. I don't think it was coincidence. I think it was God trying to help me. We call it in the Catholic Church "Divine Providence."

Remember what I told you. Go to a place by yourself or seat on the edge of the bed and say: "God, I can't stand this anymore. I am asking you to take over. I put everything in your hands." Say it honestly, and immediately you start feeling an immense peace.

This is one hell of a battle we in Phase D are fighting. When my brother told me that the medication was working because my PSA went from 117 to 0.6, I said. "No, is God working through the medications. Who created the men that invented the medication. Who created the doctor?" You have to have faith in God, because if not, you might as well start digging your grave now.

We are fighting a dragon here. This is David v. Goliath, part II. The difference is that we don't carry stones. We carry our prayers. I tell my friends: "Pray for me, because I can't win this by myself." And if at the end we go down, we go down swinging.

One time at church, one of the readings was a letter of St. Paul. I remember a part of it. "On earth, we work for Christ. In death we see Him." I don't know about you Robert, but to me that is a win/win situation.

Please excuse me if I offended you with the religious part of it. It was not my intention. As I told you. I can't stand the religious right. We need to survive this so in the future we can help more Roberts. Remember, you told me one time that in the future you want to help the newbies. Well, you can't help them in your present condition. There is nothing wrong in feeling like you are. We been through that and you would be a freak if you did not go through it. My friend, now is the time to clean your rifle.

Take care guy. Always keep your chin up. You call me if you need somebody to unload to.


[name used with permission]


This information is provided for educational purposes only and does not replace or amend professional medical advice. Unless otherwise stated and credited, the content of Phoenix5 (P5) is by and the opinion of and copyright © 2000 Robert Vaughn Young. All Rights Reserved. P5 is at <>. P5's policy regarding privacy and right to reprint are at <>.