phoenix 5 - to help men and their companions overcome issues created by prostate cancer
main menu   -   P5 intro   -   articles   -   prostate   -   stories   -   sexuality   -   resources   -   glossary

A Phoenix5 First-Person Story


by Jim Hornaday

"…the old failure analysis procedures kicked in."

Well, as a semi-practicing and semi-retired engineer and current part-time engineering consultant, I will offer my 'reactions' to the knowledge that I had PCa three years ago. My prime expertise was (and hopefully still is) in material property testing and failure analysis.

photo of surveyor For 64 years, I must have been working on the assumption (as explained somewhere earlier in the Circle) that I was going to live forever, because every day I woke alive verified that assumption. Knowing I had PCa was a real blast of reality, and produced the probably common "Why ME?" sad-sack response for a couple of days. Believe me, it was not pleasant to know the PSA test, the DRE examination, and the biopsies all said "CANCER."

After realizing that "ME" was no different from everybody else, the old failure analysis procedures kicked in. My business has always been telling customers what was wrong with their 'product', and why it wore out too soon or broke unexpectedly in service. The second part of the work was my recommending corrective action for their consideration. It finally occurred to me that I very much alive yet, and there were some obvious corrective actions that could be taken, and I could damn well beat it if I stopped feeling sorry for myself and would get out and DO something. The "DO" something at that point was a review of my specific PCa situation, compare the advantages and disadvantage percentages for each option, and from that, make a decision as to what I was specifically going to do to beat the PCa.

I guess the critical points I had to go through were that denial wasn't going to do me one bit of good, and it was time to face the situation before it went spontaneously critical and become totally deadly. I had an uncle (by marriage) that died with PCa about 10 years ago, and I knew it was a nasty terrible way to die.

Now, that's my specific reaction process. Maybe it'd work for another 'engineer', and maybe it won't. If my initial tests had been inconclusive, I am pretty sure I would have pressed on until I knew whether I had PCa or not. That wasn't my problem.

Jim Hornaday
(written Jan. 01)

Go to
Stories Menu

[Images are for illustration only and do not represent those involved.]

main menu   -   P5 intro   -   articles   -   prostate   -   stories   -   sexuality   -   resources   -   glossary

This information is provided for educational purposes only and does not replace or amend professional medical advice. Unless otherwise stated and credited, the content of Phoenix5 (P5) is by and the opinion of and copyright © 2000 Robert Vaughn Young. All Rights Reserved. P5 is at <>. P5's policy regarding privacy and right to reprint are at <>.