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This is one of several essays from my private cancer journal. It is not intended as anything than a record of my states of mind as I struggled with the disease and the effects of the treatment.

My new juggling act

drawing of man juggling time, drugs and food 9/28/02

I suppose many others do this, but it is new to me.

I am juggling medications, food and time and I sometimes lose track.

Two weeks ago (on 9/13), I started my ketoconazole treatment at the low (half) dose while they monitored my liver function (keto can damage the liver) with weekly blood tests. If no problem, then we would go to the full dose.

It sounded simple. Take the ketoconazole 3 times a day on an empty stomach and the prednisone in the AM and PM with food.

Only catch is that overlap in the AM and PM.

So I'm a pill-taking clock-watcher, juggling them with my stomach.

Then yesterday, I got the call that the liver tests look good so I start on the high-dose tomorrow.

Interestingly, there has been NO side-effects, at least not yet, proving that my dramatic caution was completely useless. Oh well, I still like the short haircut.

Now I get to see what high-dose does and funny thing is that it really doesn't bother me. I already went through that.

I have to keep reminding myself that apprehension (a close relative of worry and fear) easily exists apart from fact and reality. We may not be able to control the latter but we can command the former.

Meanwhile, the glossary booklet that I've been on for over two months went to the printer and back. There's a few tiny flaws, mainly due to the shift between my PC system and their Mac system, but otherwise, I think it it looks great.

Funny how prostate cancer is both my nemesis and my relief.

Whoops! What time is it?

RVY

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This information is provided for educational purposes only and does not replace or amend professional medical advice. Unless otherwise stated and credited, the content of Phoenix5 (P5) is by and the opinion of and copyright © 2000 Robert Vaughn Young. All Rights Reserved. P5 is at <http://www.phoenix5.org>. P5's policy regarding privacy and right to reprint are at <www.phoenix5.org/infopolicy>.