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This is one of several essays from my private cancer journal. It is not intended as anything than a record of my states of mind as I struggled with the disease and the effects of the treatment.
Waiting for the PSA . . . again
8/20/02
I had my blood drawn yesterday, primarily for the PSA.
Now I wait.
I was supposed to have it drawn four days earlier, but I kept finding other things to do. I see my oncologist day after tomorrow. Based on PSA, we'll decide what to do next. Here is what we will gauge it against:
January = 3.6
March = 30.7
April = 96.6
May = 238.7
June = 278.5
We'll see if the triple Casodex bit. Frankly, I can't tell. General pain has increased (although not as bad as that flare a month ago), as well as tiredness, so it is probably up, but it has surprised me before.
I'm coming up on the third anniversary of my diagnosis, which is pretty damned good, given where I started. In that time, I have no idea how many PSAs I've had. I don't think one ever gets used to them, although I'm trying to be philosophical on this one. That climb doesn't look well.
I've decided if the results require a new decision, that I will ask him for a week to reflect on it. He's already said he thinks I should go Taxotere chemo. I'm leaning towards HDK+HC. Either way, I'm running out of choices.
Back to the glossary booklet that I'm laying out. It keeps me busy. Worrying about this disease never does me any good.
RVY
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