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This is one of several essays from my private cancer journal. It is not intended as anything than a record of my states of mind as I struggled with the disease and the effects of the treatment.
End of the honeymoon
1/15/02
I met with my oncologist and my PSA has risen to 3.6.
I knew it was a matter of time before it started coming back around. That may help to cushion the news but it still isn't fun to hear. It means that I am probably going refractory again.
Again. How often can one keep going refractory?
At least having climbed to 88 and then bringing it down to that dizzying point-45, it shows that I can bang it around.
So we'll just wait and see what the next one is and take it from there.
I hate this numbers game but it has to be played. That's really all it is now for me, a numbers game.
Somewhere in this is a moral.
RVY
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